On the front page of the Huffington Post this month, one inspiring article caught our attention: “Coming Out When You’re in the Biggest ‘Bro’ Frat on Campus.” Written by SUNY alum Kevin Ricupero, it tells the story of Kevin’s path from closeted freshman at the University at Albany to openly gay president of the university’s most influential fraternity. More than that, his story is about change – and how you shouldn’t let fear limit you or prevent you from accomplishing all that you are capable of.
Kevin’s journey began his first year at UA, when a mutual friend introduced him to one of the Brothers of the fraternity he would soon pledge to – and later become president of. “It was the eclectic personalities of the Brothers that was the deciding factor to take the journey,” Kevin says, referring to his decision to pledge. “A journey that I’ll never forget.”
It was the story of Harvey Milk that initially inspired Kevin to make a difference in the lives of others. A monumental gay rights activist, Harvey Milk was the first openly gay politician to be elected to public office in California. Kevin was in the beginning stages of coming out when his then-boyfriend gave him the film Milk for his birthday. “Harvey’s speech on Capitol Hill in Washington, D.C. was incredible – and I knew right then and there that I would make a difference.” He soon discovered that not only did Harvey grow up two towns away from Kevin’s hometown on Long Island, but he also completed his undergraduate degree at none other than the University at Albany. “That changed everything for me,” says Kevin. “At that very moment, I was Harvey Milk, and there was nothing anyone could say or do to ever stop me.”
Choosing to come out to his new family of brothers in his sophomore year of college was not an easy decision – but it was certainly a rewarding one. “I was lucky,” Kevin writes in his Huffington Post article. “Not everyone has the same story.” Most rewarding were the lessons learned, as well as the respect earned – and the relationships with his new fraternity brothers that were built on a foundation of trust. “It was an empowering experience,” Kevin says, “And enabled me to be comfortable in my own skin.”
After writing his coming out story, Kevin first published it to his LinkedIn page. He received much positive feedback, which gave him the confidence and evidence he needed to determine that his piece was worthy of publication on a large scale. “Anything in life is obtainable,” Kevin explains. “You just need to envision it and consciously plant that idea in your head. Once that thought is there, you’ll find a way to make it happen and not stop until it does.” For Kevin, the idea of landing on the front page of Huffington Post became a reality when he submitted his piece…and heard back the very next day. Given the large number of submissions Huffington Post receives, an overnight response was a testament to the value of Kevin’s story – and quite a confidence boost. Kevin agrees: “It was a great morning for sure!”
For students who can relate to his experience, Kevin offers this advice: “Do not be afraid to reach out to anyone that may have walked the same path before you. For the LGBT: there’s something called a gay-godfather. Gay-godfather defined: ‘a kind-hearted person that has experienced a piece of your future before you have and can offer great wisdom and advice when needed.’ Get one. I had one and now have countless gay-godsons…leave it to the gays to re-brand the word ‘mentor’.”
Kevin also advises, “Be comfortable with who you are first and foremost; then take the next steps. When you understand who you are and understand that there’s nothing you or anyone can do about it, your instinctive desire to be happy will take over.”
And, most importantly: “Do not let fear dictate anything in your life.”
Kevin Ricupero is a Serial Entrepreneur and Artist Manager at The Uncommon Breed, LLC. He graduated from the University at Albany in 2011 with a major in Accounting and minor in Business Administration.
